When to ask grandparents for help with twins?

Show your concern about the progress of the pregnancy, but don’t hover or nag the mother. Grandparents who are still working may want to arrange some time off. Although birthdates for twins are notoriously hard to predict, help from grandparents will probably be most welcome in the weeks before the birth as well as after the birth.

What are the reactions of grandparents when they find out they have twins?

Shock, delight, apprehension, panic: these are just some of the reactions reported by parents upon learning that they are going to have baby twins or multiples. The grandparents naturally have many of the same reactions, but because grandparents are often champion worriers, apprehension may gain the upper hand.

Can a grandparent mess up with the grandkids?

However, even the most conscientious grandparents can also mess up from time to time. “While a grandparent’s job is to spoil the grandkids, their agenda can conflict with that of mom and dad and can lead to a clash,” says Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, MS, LCPC, Imago therapist and co-founder of the Marriage Restoration Project.

How to take care of twins and multiples?

Twins and multiples get so much attention from everyone from family members to strangers that it’s difficult for siblings not to feel overlooked. Little gifts, special outings, overnight visits and one-on-one time with grandma or grandpa will reinforce the message that all your grandchildren are special.

Why are some parents not interested in their grandchildren?

Still, stories of intergenerational care like the ones coming from the White House can bring those feelings to the surface and to a boil. “There are some parents who probably don’t have a realistic expectation of how invested their parents should be in the grandchildren,” said Dr. Gail Saltz, a Manhattan psychiatrist.

When is grandma can’t be bothered-the New York Times?

Whenever she hears about families in which the grandparents love to pitch in, she has only one thought: “This is so not my life.” It is not new for young mothers to be surprised and hurt, perhaps unjustifiably, at how little their own mothers rush over to baby-sit.

What happens when grandparents can’t be bothered?

“I often hear from grandparents that their children are overindulgent with time and attention.” Indeed, for some resentful, cash-strapped adult children, time and money are fungible commodities. For them, the attitude may be “ ‘give us the money and we’ll understand that you have limited time,’ ” Dr. Saltz said.

Can a grandparent baby sit for a working parent?

“She has no idea what our kids are like or what they’re interested in.” In these parlous economic times, attitudes like that can have far greater consequences than hurt feelings. If a grandparent cannot or will not baby-sit for a working parent, day care or a nanny may be the only option, and may also be a financial hardship.